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“Be a good girl”. I can’t tell you how many times I heard that growing up.
“Be a good girl”
To me that translated into being a girl everyone was happy with.
Not the girl who got turned on by breasts in 80s horror movies.
Not the girl who could feel the pleasure in her clitoris at 7 years old.
Not the girl who enjoyed playing “doctor” with the boys.
Because “good girls” weren’t supposed to like those things or do those things.
Good girls were quiet and didn’t get angry
Good girls smiled and accepted anything because that meant “gratitude”
Good girls always put others feelings before their own
My god….the bullshit of it all
My “good girl” kept me small and afraid
Kept me powerless….a damsel always needing to be rescued
Had me use sex in a compensatory way
And because I didn’t know how to own my desires I was passive aggressive.
Passive in that I acted like I needed nothing
Aggressive when someone didn’t read my mind and make shit magically happen.
Oooh this shit is DEEP!
The way we as women are taught to stuff it down and choke it down….to smile and say “it’s fine” or “it’s ok” when we are SCREAMING inside.
Nah….I’m saying my final “NO” to all of this fuckery
I have no desire to be “good”
I am wild
I am intelligent
I am passionate
I am considerate
I am sensual
I am sexy as fuck
I can be kind
I can be bitchy
I can be angry
I can be sad
My rage has a place right alongside my love
My passion and sex are mine just as much as motherhood is mine
I’m a full complete human – not a “good girl”, and it’s time for me to say some final goodbyes to that part of me. It’s time for this piece of me to die so I can truly live.